“Seven Things Smart Parents Never Say”
Mindful parenting is the concept of being present in the moment with your children. The greatest gift you can ever give to your child is your attention and mindful parenting is a way of doing that.Children, especially toddlers, live quite naturally in the moment. We, on the other hand think of past or future; what we need to cook, buy and do, which may be important, but it is also taking our attention away from our child who is living in the present moment. We can minimize the damage by avoiding to say the seven things.
1. “Not Now”. Whenever Laura Stafford, professor of communication, picked up her boys at preschool, she recalls, “I'd see parents hurry around their kids”. A child would show his work and mother says “Not now. I’ll look at it when we get home”. A persistent pattern of “Not Now” communicates to the child, “You and your project aren’t worth my time”.
2. “You should have done it this way”. In their book, “The Self-Confident Child”, Dr Jean Yoder & William Proctor describe a preschooler who after much effort, learns to tie his shoe laces. He proudly shows of his accomplishment to his father. “That’s great”, the father says, “but you should have made sure you put your shoes on the right feet”. When praise is mixed with criticism, kids focus on the down side.
3. “You look like a Slob”. Children look to their parents to tell them who they are in this world. Teasing creates uncertainty because a child never knows how serious the parent is. This uncertainty goes on to develop a negative self image.
4. “You don’t mean that”. When we continually deny their feelings, kids think they should not express emotions. On the contrary, we should encourage our children to recognize and empathize with different emotions. A child psychologist can offer various strategies to develop a child’s emotional expression, but it is important to begin at home.
(To be continued)…..